25 years

Dennis and I have been married 25 years.

Wow!

It has been an interesting 25 years:

• Got married in Las Vegas - gained two daughters - Nicole and Denise
• lived in San Diego, Denver, San Diego and then settled in L.A.
• Went to work at MSMC - become a career counselor, assistant director, and then director.  Got demoted back to assistant director so quit and went to Jewish Vocational Service - got laid off.  Out of work for 8 months then hired by Education Fund.
• I got a Master's degree.
• Lost my mother, my father, my mother-in-law Roseanne, my Aunt Rochelle and my cousin Mark in the 90's.
• Survived the 1994 Northridge earthquake.
• Dennis worked as a caddy, ran a snack bar for caddies at a local country club.  Did in home support for his mom, Mary, Maxine and another lady. Cleaned a laundromat  every night for over a year.  Drove Harry for 2 1/2 years.
• Denise got married in 2001 - 1st grandson Laurentis born
• Second grandson Joshua (Nicole's son) born in 2003
• William married Melissa in 2004
• Lost Denise in 2008. And Dennis' nephew Dean as well (both too young).
• Visited Edmonton, Alberta twice (once for Denise's memorial) and Windsor, Ontario once.
• Grand daugther Kaylee Elizabeth born in 2006
• Lots of good times - country western dancing, birthday parties, anniversary celebrations, trips to Disneyland, Legoland (4 times for me), Solvang, San Francisco, Windsor, CA, Portland, OR, Seattle, WA, and Tucson, AZ. Attended plays and musicals.
• Dennis' brother Ray, my first brother-in-law Dan, Harry and a good friend Don, from the San Diego days all passed in 2013.
• Celebrated our 25th with our kids, grand kids, niece, and friend Adrienne.

Here's to 25 more happy and interesting years!

Holiday Season

A bittersweet holiday season.  Laid-offs are predicted after the first of the year.  I'm very sure that I will be one of the ones to be let go -- in the L.A. office I have the least seniority and in the Ed Fund in general I am very close to the bottom.   

I really wanted to to work at least another 2 to 3 years to get as much money as possible from my SS.  

I think I'll start to look for a job even if I don't get laid off.  Maybe I can find a two year grant situation. That would work.

Worried, frustrated and blue.

But, we have had some fun so fair as the Canadians are here.  Went to a great production of "Into the Woods" at the Jewish Women's Theater Company.  Melissa was the costume designer and also played the Wolf.

Have been lighting the Hanukkah candles every night - Joshua really enjoys that.

Soon we will be celebrating Christmas Eve with all the kids.  I look forward to that.

Early morning

I get up early.  Sometimes too early.  But I am a morning person, I wake right up, ready to go.  Unlike some other people - Dennis takes at least a 1/2 an hour and a cup of coffee to wake up.  

I do love the early morning, that quiet time before the rest of the city wakes up.

When I lived in San Diego I would get up early and sit on the porch, breathe in the clean air, it would be quiet and sometimes very cool but it was so peaceful. 

When I was in graduate school I would go to bed at about 8pm and get up at 3 or 4am to study or write papers.  That was when it was quiet enough for me to concentrate.  Dennis would still be sleeping and there were no distracting noises from the rest of the apartment building.  

Early morning was also my favorite time when we went camping.   To be the first one up in a camp ground was so nice.  The air was fresh, cool and crisp.  The birds singing and sometimes I'd get a glimpse of a deer or two.  Then I'd start breakfast, putting on the coffee for Gene, boiling water for me and Will to have hot chocolate.  But mostly just enjoying the true beauty of the woods and nature.

I get up early to walk most days at 6:30am with my friend Adrienne.  The sun has only been up for about 1/2 hour and it's a good time to walk before there are lots of cars on the street.  

And sometimes I get up too early.  At 3am or 4am.  I have had problems sleeping for many years, ever since Gene got sick.  But still even then I don't usually mind.  The quiet is so nice especially when one's everyday working world is full lots of talking especially on the telephone.  So I usually enjoy this quiet time.  Just me and the cats - well they usually only want me to feed them and then they go back to sleep.  Sometimes I can fall back to sleep but most often I get up and read.  Or I'll pay bills, file paperwork, clean off my desk, do some writing here, something productive.

Then all too soon, it's time to get ready to go to work.  

Holidays

For me holidays are bittersweet.  I miss my parents much more during this time.  For several years Thanksgiving included my parents, Dennis' mom, my cousin Lana and her son Matthew, my aunt Rochelle and cousin Mark, sometimes Will would come up from San Diego (but no too often because he doesn't like Thanksgiving much).  Occasionally my brother and a friend or two would join us as well.

Mom, Dad, Roseanne, Rochelle, and Mark are gone now.

So it's just the 5 of us - Den, me, Will, Melissa and Kaylee.  

Makes me a bit sad.

My brother goes to his ex-wife's or ex-brother-in-law's house (don't ask).

My cousin works part-time at JC Penney's so has to be at work by 4:45pm today!  Which seems so unfair to me.  Since she lives in the valley we would have had to have Thanksgiving breakfast for her to join us.  Matthew has his own friends to spend time with now that he's 24.

But I am looking forward to Hanukkah and Christmas because all the kids will be here. 

And we're going to celebrate our 25th anniversary on December 17th with a dinner party.

But still, I miss the big family celebrations from my childhood.  Highlight wasn't the turkey it was putting the black olives on our fingers with my cousin Lana and giggling like crazy!

Hope everyone had a great day.

ER Thoughts

The first time I went to an ER was when Will was a toddler and he grabbed a hot cup on coffee on himself and got a second degree burn.  It was a small local hospital and we were the only ones there until the police brought in a guy who they had arrested with a gun shot wound.  Wasn't too bad that trip.

The next time I had to go to the ER was the day we found out that Gene's cancer had progressed.  I remember getting ready to go to a celebration, I think it was one of my friend Mage's daughters' wedding reception. I'm not sure.  At this time, Gene had already been diagnosed with cancer and we were waiting for him to get a assessment to see if the lung that didn't have the cancer was strong enough to support him.  He was in bed and said, "I can't breath, please don't go to the party."  So instead of celebrating, I found myself sitting in the Kaiser ER waiting room.  They had taken Gene into the back and all of a sudden I look up and see my primary care doctor coming towards me.  I think to myself, this isn't good.  And it wasn't.  

For the next several months there were lots of trips to the ER until the final one.  And then he was gone.

The August after Gene died, Will was trying to help me out at home by hanging some miniblinds.  He got frustrated and put his hand through the window.  So off to the ER we went -- the same one that I had taken Gene to when we got the diagnosis telling us he didn't have a year or two live but just a few months.  Will felt so bad for me because he knew how difficult it was for me to be in that place.

Dennis has had to go to the ER a couple of times for a variety of issues throughout the years; shingles, extremely painful hives, a severely swollen ankle (well that time the PGA tournament people made us go, they even drove us -- he fell into a small hole on the Rivera Country Club Golf Course while we were at a tournament), etc.  

I have also accompanied my mother, my mother-in-law and older family friends to various ER's. And  even had my turn when I feel and broke my shoulder.  

So this last trip with Dennis while scary, didn't make me feel as fragile as the first few times after Gene died.  I guess I'm tougher then I thought I was.

And by the way, there were a couple of very cute paramedics there - one could have been in the movies.  The doctor that treated Dennis wasn't too shabby either.  But why are they all only 12 years old? 

Random things......

Tonight we're going to see Jersey Boys - I'm excited.  

Work is keeping me very busy.  It's all good.

I would love to be able to retire in 3 years.  

Wish I could help Will find a job.  

My dream is to  work part-time and have private clients, and do guest speaker presentations. 

I need to lose weight.

I love spending time with Kaylee.

The Canadians are coming for Christmas!  Yea, can't wait.

I'm going to be a great-aunt.

Etiquette Lunch presentation at MSMC on Sunday.  Always fun.

I'm done!

Old Friends

Old Friends.

Say what you will about Facebook - it has allowed me to reconnect with several old friends.  When I met Gene in 1970, he introduced me to all his friends in San Diego.  For a very short time in 1974, we lived in San Diego  - something I don't like to think or talk about because it wasn't a good time for me or our marriage.  While living there, I spent lots of time with Mage - enjoying her company and life style.   

 After returning to LA in 1974 and repairing our relationship, Gene and I would take short trips to San Diego to visit Mage (and of course Don). Fast forward to 1980 we move to San Diego so I could attend San Diego State.  From 1980 through 1989, Mage and I become closer friends.  Then I met Dennis and well to be honest Mage & George didn't like him very much.  And after Dennis and I got married we moved to Denver for a year and then moved back to L.A.  I tried to keep in touch with Mage but well, for several reasons, she never really reciprocated  So we lost touch.

When I learned that our friend Dan de Llamas had died -- I sent Mage a message and we have now reconnected via Facebook.  She married George and has been become a grandmother (just like me).  We now correspond quite a bit and I read her blog daily.  We hope, one day, to visit in person.  

Through FB I have been able to find old school mates - a couple I went from kindergarten through high school.  I have just fond memories of these people and am enjoying talking to them on FB.  I'm marvelling in the adults they have become.  

As I get older, I cherish these people because they are a connection to my younger self.  They remind me, on the whole, of good times.  Yes sometimes there weren't fun things that happened when I was growing up but that's ok.  I'd rather remember the fun things we did together.

On the Road with Will & Kaylee

My beautiful and talented daughter-in-law Melissa is working as the costumer for her friend Mitsuyo Miyazak's film "Where We Begin." www.wherebeginfilmcom   Filming is taking place in Cedar City, Utah from August 12 through August 24.  Mitsuyo also asked that Kaylee be an extra in the film as a gypsy child.  Of course Will & Melissa were delighted to provide Kaylee with an opportunity to be in a movie, even if it was a small non-speaking role.  

Melissa drove up to Cedar City on the 12th and William asked me to go to Utah to help him with the drive and Kaylee.  How could I say no?  Fortunately work allowed me the time off.  Wednesday morning, August 23rd at 4:30am, Will, Kaylee and I hit the road for Cedar City.

The drive went smoothly about 7.5 hours after leaving L.A. we arrived in Cedar City.  Headed for the costumer shop and met up with Melissa who was knee deep in costumes.  Kaylee had her fitting and then we were off to the motel for rest and relaxation.  Kaylee and I hit the pool and played for a bit while Will took a much needed nap - he had driven the entire 7.5 miles.  

Dinner, a bit of TV and then off to bed as we had a very early "call" on Thursday. 

Once I figure out how to post some pictures, I'll continue with "On the Road with Will & Kaylee.

If only I would be honest!

Folks post on Facebook sayings about being true to one's self and saying what one means, not letting others tell one what to do, etc.

How I wish that this were as easy to do as it is to say (or post on FB).

I have been working for someone else for over 40 years and know that saying what I feel will get me in trouble every time because it has happened more then once!

Most bosses don't really want to know your opinions, thoughts or in some cases your ideas.  They want you to go along with what they want, buy into it without question and do what they say.  Some bosses don't even care if you have the training, experience or expertise in your field.  They don't really value you.  If you do express an opinion independent of what they believe, watch out because you will end up on their list!  Not where you want to be at all!

If you are hard worker, honest and loyal to the organization, if you question authority, better watch out!  

Dust, papers and a cat

Dust, papers and a cat - that's what is on my desk right now.

I hate to dust and Dennis hates to dust.  That's way there's always dust on my dusk.  

Whenever I sit down at the computer SeeSee cat has to join me.  Right now she's sitting next to me, under the lamp, on top of some magazines.  Sometimes she has to sit right in front of me, on the keyboard helping me type.  When I move the mouse, she makes a noise to tell me I'm disturbing her.  She sits here because she knows I'll pay attention to her and pet her - she's an attention junky.

I am actually organized.  I have a special container for my bills that need to be paid.  Although more and more I'm moving to paperless billing.  That same container is were I put the paid bills to be filed away in my file cabinet.  I have a basket for paperwork that I want to be able to get to very quickly.  I also have a vertical file for things in the future like the Jersey Boy tickets for the show we are going to in October.

Then there's the usual desk items, stapler, tape dispenser, pens & pencils, paper to jot notes on, post-its and a lamp. 

I have a picture of myself, Grey Davis and Greg Krentzman.  It was taken at a JVS Business to Business Luncheon. I like the fact that I met a former governor of California that I voted for - too bad he was voted out of office.  

Above my desk are my college diplomas and my GCDF certificates all framed.  And of course, there's Den's Honorary Degree for putting me through my master's program.  I am proud that I have two degrees.  I bet if you spoke to my high school counselor or teachers they would have said Monica, she's a nice girl but most likely will not  get a college education.  I fooled them!

For some reason, stuff ends up on my desk that doesn't belong here. Right now there's a box of golf balls on my desk.   I fight a constant battle to keep Den from putting his water bottles on the desk.  I worry that the top on the bottle won't be completely closed and it will spill onto my keyboard.  

And there's still dust on the desk!

Meanies

I'm 63 years old and I still don't understand why some people have the need to be so cruel and mean to other people.  I find this to be especially true of people who are in positions of power and authority.  This seems to happen so often in the work place.  There are some bosses who seem to, over the years, become meaner and lacking in humanity.  They treat the people they supervise with disdain.  And when they decide they want you out they will do everything possible to make you miserable.  They will find fault with everything you do yet will not give you a chance to improve.  Oh they say they want you to succeed but what they really want is to make you so unhappy that you will leave.  Or they will fire you.  You could be the hardest working employee, giving the organization 1000% but that doesn't matter when you become a target and they dislike you, it's over for you.

So sad......

Random Thoughts

People amaze me....especially when they don't want to make an effort to figure something out for themselves.

Part of my job is to provide information about our educational training programs.  What I find fascinating is that when information is provided either on a website or in a flyer, people don't read it.  They want it told to them.

Our website has some very detailed information about our programs.  Especially the one I help to coordinate.  In fact, we even created a FAQ section.  Do people read this?  Nope!  Wonder why?  Are they lazy?  Some are.  Others just don't know about them.

A guy calls me and says I applied for a training and I don't know what do next.  Ok, that's a fair question, however, the training he applied for is being offered out of the Oakland office and the on-line form says if you have questions contact a specific staff person (not me).  And he even says to me, when I tell him I'm not the person coordinating this training as it's in Oakland I work in L.A., Oh I guess I should contact the specific staff person.  He has her name but doesn't call her.

Another guy calls, again from No. Calif., he got laid off and wants to use the services we have available for employers who are in what is called RIF (Reduction in Force) status.  I work with all So. Calif. RIF employees.  He's from No. Calif.  So I tell him he needs to call the Oakland office and ask for the person who works with RIF employees from his area.  In No. Calif.  many staff work with these employees in So. Calif it's just me.  Nope, he doesn't want to do that because he claims that he has talked to a gal from our No. Calif. office and she told him he wouldn't take the training he wanted and she wouldn't give him her telephone number.  I ask, what's her name and he can't remember.  He then goes on about how he helped draft the policies between the Union and the Ed Fund in regards to what type of training the Ed Fund will support, etc, etc, etc.  He knows it all but can't remember the name of the gal who won't work with him!  I think I would remember.  Anyway, I tell him that if he doesn't want to call and speak to her, then perhaps he needs to speak with our associate director who supervises staff working with RIF employees.  I give him her name and telephone number.  What does he do?  He calls back and speaks to our program assistant and tells her the same story he told me.  Does he ask to speak to the associate director, nope?  Why not --  beats me!

I was out of the office for most of the day today - I took a look at my emails and there are several from people asking questions about the training program I coordinate.  Again, the questions are all answered on the our website.....And please people, learn how to write an email...and include your contact number.

Big Sigh!

I am a claustrophobic!

Trying to figure out why I am so claustrophobic?

Well, I know that when I was little, my brother used to put a pillow over my face.

Is that the reason?

My grandfather Al lived in a very old building in the Fairfax area with one of the old fashion elevators that had the iron gate.  It was small and creaky.  I was afraid to go in it and would walk up the stairs.

Is that the reason?

I used to love to go camping.  We had a 6 person tent made of very dark green canvas material.  Only had one window.  After Gene died, I couldn't sleep in the tent anymore.

Is that the reason?

I am also afraid of being enclosed in a small space without any light coming in.  When we were in Canada, the room we were staying in had no windows.  One night, we closed the door and turned off the lights, I freaked out because I couldn't see anything.

I'm also afraid of getting stuck in a small space - probably because I'm so big and round.  When the Rad Tech told me that I would feel very tight inside the traditional MRI machine I flipped out.  No way, couldn't do it and I refused.

On Tom Sawyer's Island at Disneyland, there's a "cave" to walk through.  Last time I was there with the kids, couldn't do it!

I think I need to work on this issue.

I did get the MRI because I was able to go to a place that has an open machine.  

I really want to write something.

I really want to write something but I'm not sure what.  First I was going to write about how I don't believe it's possible to really say what you think or believe at work or sometimes with your friends.  But then I worried if I wrote what I really feel, that some how it come back to bite me on my tush.

Oh and by the way, this happened to someone I know.  And that person didn't even write the post.  I posted something on Facebook about a friend having troubles at work and wishing her a better day.  Now at the time I wrote that post I had at least 4 friends who where having work issues.  I didn't say who it was, didn't identify the organization and didn't get specific as to what the work issue was about.  Nonetheless, one of my friends got into trouble with the boss because the boss decided that my post was referring to the individual that this boss supervised! What!  To that boss I say, let's just jump to conclusions; maybe if you thought it was about you, you should have said something to the person you supervised instead of letting it get out of hand!  That's what a good leader would have done.

Then I was going to write about the pain in my leg.  But figured that was too boring as I'm bored with it.  Plus I have at least one friend who is going through a life-threaten situation right now so need to stop feeling sorry for myself.

I could write about what I did this weekend but since I did nothing other then ice my leg and watch TV or read I'd bore everyone.  I'm bored myself.

I could write about the client who gave me a hug and thanked me for helping her fine tune her resume.  That was nice

I would write about how sometimes I feel very lonely but then I might come off as feeling sorry for myself and that's not a good thing.

So I guess I won't write about anything right now.  

Windsor Trip

Back from Windsor, Ontario.  Had a great time visiting with the various Le Blanc relatives.  This was Dennis' first visit to his "hometown" since 1988.  The nieces and nephews are all grown up with children and in one case a grandchild!  Windsor is probably the most America of all the Canadian cities due to their close proximity to Detroit.  Lot's of American business there such as Lowe's, Home Depot, Walmart, etc.  And of course Costco!  And yes, we did shop there because you know there's different merchandise at every Costco.  

One very Canadian business is Tim Horton Donuts - I can't figure out what the big deal is with these donuts - they don't have many choices and I find them to be very dense and too sweet.  But there's a Tim Horton's on almost every corner - Canadians love them!

Saw the house Dennis grew up in and he didn't recognize it.  It is a very small house, hard to believe that 9 to 13 people lived in it.  Unfortunately, it is now in what is considered a not to good part of town.   In fact, Dennis didn't recognize much of the city but then again, he has been gone for 27 years.

Windsor is very flat.   No hills or the mountains in the distance.  Lots of open fields inside Windsor as well as in the surrounding communities.  Houses are made mostly of brick and have basements something one doesn't see in Los Angeles.  However, Windsor is growing so lots of tract homes being built like one sees in America.

Here's an interesting fact - the bridge one takes to get from Detroit to Windsor is privately owned!  I didn't know that a private person could own a bridge.  

Here's what we did during our stay:  Walked along park that runs along the Detroit River on the Canadian side. A section of the park has some very interesting pieces of art.  I visited the Hiram Walker Distillery and even drank some Canadian Club Whiskey.  I really enjoyed that tour - not because of the whiskey - but because of the history of the place.  Took a walk in a great park near Juanita's and Sonny's house (where we stayed) trying to see the bald eagle that lives there - didn't see it but saw lots of geese and ducks.  Visited Amherstberg a small town outside of Windsor famous for the Battle of 1812.  Talk about beautiful homes!  Apparently quite a few wealthy Americans own the homes in this area that face the river.  Wow would I love to live there! Went to Point Pelee National park - walked out to the point which is the farest part of Canadian and is on Lake Erie.  Ate at the famous Tunnel BBQ that Dennis has been talking about for 25 years.  Also had lunch at Maleck's Deli another place I've heard about for years.  Went shopping for Canadian souvenirs for Kaylee - got lots!   Dennis played golf with his brother Gerry and nephew Aaron.  We ate and ate and ate some great meals with various family members. Experienced a thunderstorm.  Wow what a show! Probably wasn't too smart to be taking video and pictures during the storm especially when one of the bolts looked like it hit just down the street!  But it was exciting especially when it started to rain and came down in buckets with wind blowing like crazy.

It was a good time for Dennis to catch up with his family.  Dennis was able to spend lots of quality time with his brother Gerry.  Finally, we also went to the cemetery to pay our respect to Dennis' mother Roseanne, his sister Beverly and her husband Ron Steele and their son Dean.  

It was a great trip but it's nice to be home.  Now if our luggage would show up, I'd be happy!

Working

Now, don't get me wrong, I am very grateful that at 63 I have a job. I say this because every time I post something on Facebook about having a frustrating day at work I get comments from people saying "well at least you have a job" or something to that effective.  So yes I'm glad have a job.  But that being said, I  wish I didn't have to work.

Lately, I have come to realize that I don't really want to go to work everyday.  What's getting me down is that I must go to work everyday because I was not smart enough to save enough to retire early.  I'm a bit tired of the drama of working in an office.  Of having to always have everything one does approved by someone else.  Of not really being valued or appreciated or acknowledged for doing a good job.  Having my expertise questioned - after all I have been a career counselor for 20 years.  I make it a point to keep current in my field.  Last year, I completed a career specialist training program.

I miss working with college students.  There's something special about being on a college campus but I fear that I'm considered a bit too old to relate to college students.  Now I am really old enough to be their mother!  That path is most likely closed to me now.  Makes me very sad.

Too bad I'm not brave enough to start my own career counseling business.  I need the security of a consistent paycheck and employer paid health insurance at least until I'm 65.

What would I do if I had more time?  Spend it with Kaylee, volunteer, travel, play golf, so many possibilities.

Darn, why didn't I have a rich relative?  I don't need much, about as much as I make right now would be nice - on a yearly basis.

Oh well, off to work again tomorrow.

Good Bye Don

I wrote this after I learned Don de Llamas died.

We sit in your studio talking, laughing, smoking and joking.  Unfinished paintings surround us.  Paint splatters on the floor - red, green, blue, yellow, making colorful unintentional pieces of art.  You show me your most recent paintings asking me if I like them, what do I think. You value my opinion.  Then you say sit still so I can paint you.  So I sit as you sketch the outline, the shape of my body emerges, there's my hands, my short curly hair.  You start on the feature of my face; my eyes, nose and mouth.  For some reason you just can't get the hands right.  My bright red sweater.  You capture the sadness in my eyes and face....after all it's only been a short time.

Day trip with Deanna and Don.  It's a beautiful but typical San Diego day.  The sun is shinning, the sky is blue, a perfect tourist day in "America's Finest City."  It's been about 4 months now, but the pain of Gene's passing is still too strong and I know it's going to be a tough day.  So I call work and say "I just can't make it today."  They understand -- it's ok -- take the time -- heal.  I call you and say "rescue me, I'm so down, I don't think I can manage to get dressed.  You say "I'll come and get you, Deanna's in town, we'll do something fun."  And we do!  You decide you need to take pictures of, as you say, two beautiful women on the beach.  So we drive up the coast, just pass Torrey Pines.  We walk on the beach as you take pictures of the two beautiful women.  I still have the picture of Deanna and me posing on some wooden stairs.  You tell us we look beautiful but I know better...but maybe we do look nice.  We sit on the beach enjoying the sun, the sea, the sounds of the birds.  All of a sudden Deanna starts to turn red. It seems the antibiotic she's on doesn't reach well with the sun!  So off we go to a Mexican restaurant for margarita's, chips and spend time solving ours and the world's problems.

Give it a try

Why not - that's what I thought - why not give it a try.  I have been thinking a lot lately about writing something about something.  My thoughts and observations of life.  

 2013 I lost:

• My first brother-in-law Dan.  I always felt like he and I grew up together.  I was 19 when I met his brother Gene; Dan was 18.  Both of us just kids.  For the first couple years of my marriage, he was at our place so much that it was if he was living with us - we even asked him to pay for food.  After Gene died and I remarried, I didn't see much of Dan until my son Will moved back to L.A.  Dan was then in and out of Will's life for several years.  I don't even remember the last time I saw him.  His mental and physical health went into a severe decline and he ended up in a nursing home.  His death left a small empty feeling inside of me.  I started to realize that I was losing the people who knew me when I was young; first Gene and then Dan.
• My brother-in-law Ray.  Sad because I had just met him.  He lived in Windsor, Ontario and we lived in L.A.  He never came to L.A. and we never went to Windsor.  Last June he finally came to California along with Gerry (Dennis' younger brother) and their cousins Juanita and Cheryl to visit my sister-in-laws Pat and Joan in Windsor, CA.  So we drove up and to see everyone.  Dennis hadn't seen Juanita or Ray in over 25 years and had never met Cheryl (Juanita's daughter).  We had a wonderful time and it was so good for Dennis to re-connect with his family.  We promised to visit Windsor, Ontario in 2014 and will be traveling there in May.  However, Ray passed away in October.
• Our friend Harry.  Harry was 95.  He hired Dennis in 2010 to drive him to his "work."  Harry was a very active 95.  He volunteered 5 days a week at a couple of different places.  His favorite one was reading to grade school kids.  Harry made us feel like family.  For the first year, he included us in dinners with his son and daughter-in-law, we spent New Year's Eve 2011 with them and in August of 2011 we moved in with him as his family didn't want him living alone.  We came to view Harry like a father and we were, according to him, part of his family.  He opened his home to our kids and grand kids.  For many reasons, we moved back to our apartment in Oct. 2012 but Harry still treated us like family.  Dinners, Thanksgiving, plays, etc.  The last time I saw him was on October 31, 2013 when I dropped by so he could see our granddaughter Kaylee in her costume.  He died on the following Sunday.  It felt like my parents had died again.
• And the one that hit me the hardest was Don.  Don, Gene's best friend.  Don, who got me through Gene's illness and death.  Don who for so many reasons, left San Diego and moved to Portland, OR.  I lost touch with Don, I tried for the first few years to reach out to him.  But for some reason he never reached out to me.  Every so often, I'd google him because he was an artist and I knew he was showing in a gallery in Oregon.  So I would see some of his work but never spoke to him.  I thought of him often.  And then he died in 2013.  I didn't find out until this year. His big painting Parade hangs on my living room wall.  Two smaller ones have been on my office walls.  Now a third person who knew me way back when - I met him when I was 19 has left me.  The empty feeling in my heart has gotten bigger.